by DND | May 11, 2023
Take Ownership of Your Life | Jen Gottlieb
After a successful five year run as a host on VH1 and a successful career as a Broadway actress, Jen Gottlieb co-founded Super Connector Media, an award-winning online education, events and training company that teaches business owners how to build profitable brands. In the last two years alone, Jen has helped over 20,000 business owners, experts, doctors, and coaches learn how to grow their businesses and become “The Recognized Expert” in their industry through her sold-out events, online courses and mentorship programs. In addition to speaking on some of the biggest international stages, Jen has been featured in Forbes, Business Insider, Shape, Women’s Health, Well + Good, CBS, Good Morning America, PBS and on many of the top podcasts in the world.
In this episode we discuss:
– Vulnerability and authenticity are strengths not weaknesses.
– How to learn from failure and continue striving and thriving.
– Does manifesting really work?
– How to step into the version of yourself that you want to be.
– Practical exercises and routines you can use to take ownership of your life.
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Jen Gottlieb, Dr Lyon
Dr. Lyon (01:00:00 -> 01:00:00)
Jen Gottlieb (01:00:00 -> 01:00:02)
Dr. Lyon (01:00:02 -> 01:00:24)
Welcome to the show. I’m so excited to have you on. And one of the reasons I really wanted to have you on. Well, there’s many, but in particular, we are in a time right now where social media media is taken on essentially a life of its own. And we need leaders and we need experts in that field and in that domain to help guide us.
Jen Gottlieb (01:00:25 -> 01:01:07)
Well, I’m honored to be here and I’m honored that you wanted to talk to me about this because this is the world that I live in and it’s unbelievably important that people are super intentional about both sides of social media, both sides of branding, whether that is looking at other people’s brands and comparing yourself to other people or what is real and what’s not and what’s real information and what’s not. And then also how to be seen as you when you’re building your personal brand. So there’s so many different angles here and you’re the best person for me to talk to about this in the world because you know that you, well, I tell you this all the time. But now I’ll tell you this on the show in front of everybody. But you are the real deal when it comes to building an authentic brand and speaking your truth and really standing for what you believe in and it’s shown to fold.
Dr. Lyon (01:01:08 -> 01:02:05)
Thank you, I think. Um Well, again, thank you so much for that. The other thing that you said that’s really important is you’re right, there has to be authentic voices and what we’re up against now is a whole universe of misinformation, disinformation. And what I think is also really important is that we don’t live in the same world that we used to before social media, before social media. The way in which we interacted with each other was totally different. And now we interact together. But more so through a phone, a computer different than we ever have before. And you are an expert in this. And when I say an expert, I mean, you are an entrepreneur, you are a brand builder. But what’s most important is you’ve been on your own journey and you’ve been able to create success in a space, but also really a leadership role in a way that I haven’t seen anyone else do it.
Jen Gottlieb (01:02:05 -> 01:02:06)
Dr. Lyon (01:02:06 -> 01:02:22)
And you know, I’m just, I’m really thrilled for you to share all of the tools how we can navigate, how we can navigate in a positive way the world as it is now, which is full of comparison and people are scrolling and it can make it to the point where individuals will never reach their dreams.
Jen Gottlieb (01:02:22 -> 01:04:36)
Yeah. Well, there’s positives and there’s negatives about social media and I was just talking about this on a live. So I go live every morning. I do, I do, I know you do like grab your lion, everyone needs to follow her. So now every morning I feel like I have a responsibility and this is my, this is the way that I I’m doing my own part to help in this world of filters and comparison ITIS and all of that is I like to post about my highlight reel. I think that it’s actually a great place to build your online brochure, your online resume to showcase your brand, who you are the best parts of your life, right? That’s what a lot of social media is, especially if you’re building a brand. If you want to become a thought leader or an entrepreneur, business owner, that’s great. I think it’s awesome, but it’s important now to also show the realness not only to build your brand and build an audience of people that want to connect with you because humans like to connect with humans, not perfect fake things, right? So, and I also feel very responsible if I’m going to post the highlight reel and I’m gonna post me on stages and I’m going to post really curated beautiful photos of me, which I love. I also have to show the other side, which is me putting on my makeup and me just being real and me like my dogs barking in the background and my husband coming walking in like yelling at me and I’m like, wait and like, you know, all of that to showcase that everybody starts from chapter one, whether that is bare faced with nothing on it. Is it that I’m covering up in front of everybody or, you know, just like, oh, I’m feeling nervous today or I’m not feeling it today. Let’s all bring each other up. So it’s unbelievably important to know both sides. And if you’re a thought leader or if you’re a business owner, I feel like it’s, you’re doing a disservice for your business and for your community. If you’re not showing up as your true self, if you’re really stuck in that place of feeling like you need to filter everything or you need to be this perfect version of you in order for people to follow you. Because if you continuously do that, number one, you’re going to attract an audience full of people that like a version of you that’s not even you. And that’s really hard to keep up with. And number two, you’re going to be living in an authentic version of yourself. So you’re always going to be with this weird argument within yourself. Is that really me? And you’re always going to feel that feeling of stuck nous like I don’t really love my brand, I don’t really love my business. It’s probably because you are showcasing a piece of you. That’s not the whole you. Um And so I think it’s important that we do that.
Dr. Lyon (01:04:37 -> 01:05:19)
Yeah actually I’ve never thought about that before. Um When someone is, you know, we talk about building a brand but you and I were talking offline and there is, this is the brand different from the authentic person, right? For me personally, I don’t feel any different behind the scenes that I do than I do in front of the camera, right? I feel like there is very tight alignment. I’m not filtering, I don’t hide things. I mean, maybe I don’t expose all of my life on social media. You know, I share less and less about my kids as they’re getting older and that my husband can’t find socks, those kinds of things. How do we navigate a world where exposure is now the new normal?
Jen Gottlieb (01:05:20 -> 01:05:33)
So it’s really important to know that there’s good and there’s bad, right? Like we started, I started talking about this and then I went on a tangent the other way, but it’s really important to be on social media because if you think about it nowadays, no one’s gonna go hire a doctor if they don’t have a social media presence.
Dr. Lyon (01:05:33 -> 01:05:44)
And that’s true. And I see that there are really fine providers that, which is one of the other things I try to do on my podcast is always bring people in that. Perhaps people don’t know. But you’re a hundred percent right.
Jen Gottlieb (01:05:44 -> 01:08:15)
I’m not going to hire a dentist, a doctor, a dog sitter. I’m not gonna hire anybody unless I know that I can go online and they have a presence on social media on the internet. They’ve got credibility, they’ve got visibility, they’ve got authority and they’re showcasing their work or their personality or their beliefs on social. Think about it. If you went to go on the internet and you were thinking about working with someone or even like dating someone and they had no presence online, I would be freaked out. I would be like, no, I’m not going to go hire that person so social media can be an hire that person or date that person. It’s going to be an unbelievable powerful tool for your business and for your life to be able to connect with people to form those powerful connections and bonds. I feel like we really connect over social media as well, but it can also be a really scary place where we can spend a lot of time comparing real our Life to other people’s highlight reels or what they’re presenting or thinking that we’re not good enough thinking that everybody has these fabulous lives with these fabulous businesses and we’re not doing good enough. So how do you start to navigate that? Knowing both sides, right? We want to be able to build our brand, build our presence and also connect with people using social media. And then we also want to be aware that there is this toxicity about it that we can fall into really easily. And I’ll be the first to tell you I can catch myself scrolling and 15 minutes have gone by. And suddenly I don’t feel as good about myself as I did when I logged on. And I’m so I’m human and I experienced that too. And so what I try to do now with social is I go in intentionally, I always set an intention before I, my thumb goes there. I always try to, sometimes my thumb goes there automatically and I don’t even realize what it’s doing. But if you train yourself just like in the gym, you can train your muscles. I train my thumb to go. No, I’m being intentional. What am I doing on social right now? Am I posting something and creating something? Am I going to connect with specific human beings that I love and then go to their pages? And I’ll actually be intentional. I’m going to go to Gabrielle Lions page. See what she’s up to and comment on her post to support her and love on her. Or am I going to go find some information out that I would like to know? I’m going to go search a certain hashtag So I think going into social media with an actual goal instead of just mindlessly scrolling is a very helpful tool that people can use immediately to remove that mindlessly scrolling and then getting off and feeling yucky about yourself. Because if you’ve accomplished a goal, once you went in and then you’ve left, you’re going to feel that dopamine head of getting a win. Oh, I commented on my friends post, I created a post. I responded to some comments on my post or I learned something new. I entertained myself and then I was able to get off, you then are in control, you then have the power, right? It doesn’t have the power over you. So that’s one tip that peop we can start to use today to not let social media do you for you to do it.
Dr. Lyon (01:08:16 -> 01:09:08)
I love that. I love that. What about the um visibility aspect? So what I mean by that is everybody, like you said, you would never date or hire You’re married now, but you would never, you know, Chris, she’s taken off the market, you would never hire or engage with someone really that didn’t have a presence or that you could see for a lot of people that I hear and a lot of scientists, a lot of trainers, a lot of anybody who is now being forced to move into the social media space and the media space, which essentially is necessary to survive in many types of businesses. There is also a visibility that is very uncomfortable. So number one, how do you suggest people manage that. And then the other thing is how do you decide what to expose and what not to? Yeah, those are just a few questions.
Jen Gottlieb (01:09:08 -> 01:11:41)
So for everybody out there that’s listening right now, that’s like I know I need to be visible, but I really don’t want to, I want to be the best kept secret. I want to be under the radar, right? A lot of the doctors want to be under the radar. Visibility is your responsibility, especially if you’re saving people’s lives. And if you’re in the health space or you’re in a space where you have a service, a story or a product that helps people every day that goes by, that you’re not making yourself visible to those people that you can help is another day that those people are gonna go buy from someone else or they’re gonna go listen to someone else or they’re gonna go learn from someone else that’s not as good as you and doesn’t care as much as you simply because you’re too insecure about putting yourself out there every day that goes by that you’re not putting yourself out there and being visible for the people that you can help is another day that they’re going to go buy from someone else or listen to someone else or learn from someone else that isn’t as good as you and doesn’t care as much as you simply because you’re too insecure about being seen. So it’s not about you or what you care about God or the universe, whatever you believe in has given you a gift like you Gabrielle Lyon, you have a gift that you can use to help people. And if you’re not doing everything in your power to be visible to those people that you can help, those people might not be alive. It’s that serious for you because you’re a doctor, right? But even some people that have a positive message to share or a product that can help people change their life, they might need that so badly. And if they can’t find it, if you’re not making themselves visible to them, they’re gonna go listen to someone else that’s lying or saying something that’s not true or that isn’t as good as you and maybe they wouldn’t get the help that they deserve because you are too obsessed with your ego or the way you look or the way that you sound or like the way that you’re coming across. It’s not about you. It’s about the person on the other side of the phone. It’s about the patient essentially. Now the world is your patient. The world is the person that needs you to come along and like, thank here, let’s use this as an example. Thank God. You made yourself visible years ago when I needed you. You didn’t even know I needed you, but I needed you. And if you didn’t put yourself out there and make yourself visible to the world by being on podcasts or however I found you, I don’t even remember how it was, it was somehow on social media or on a podcast. And I listened to you and I was like, wow, I need to start eating more protein and lifting heavier weights. And I’m going to be a happier healthier human because this woman knows what she’s talking about. Thank God. Number one, I wouldn’t be sitting here and number two, my body wouldn’t be as banging. Number three, I wouldn’t feel as healthy and powerful. So because you made yourself seen, it helped me and because I was able to become the version of myself that I am now, I’m now able to help others. So it’s such a snowball effect. It’s your responsibility to be visible.
Dr. Lyon (01:11:41 -> 01:12:09)
Wow. I hope all the listeners are really thinking about that because if they’re not doing it, it’s, it’s kind of selfish, right? You’re not living up to your potential, you’re not living up to the impact that, that you could make in the world and it is uncomfortable, right? Being on the other side of the camera, it is uncomfortable in many different domains. But it there’s a responsibility so that cost outweighs, you know, that benefit outweighs that cost.
Jen Gottlieb (01:12:09 -> 01:12:34)
one hundred percent. It’s uncomfortable. But listen, going to the gym is uncomfortable, right? And the only way that you build your muscles is by getting uncomfortable is by pushing past. So we get better at what we practice. We know that we get stronger when we practice. So every time you get in front of the camera, even though you don’t want to and you experience that discomfort and you get to the other side, you put another coin in your confidence bank. It gets easier the next time, I’m sure the first time you did this podcast it was not as easy as it is today.
Dr. Lyon (01:12:34 -> 01:12:40)
Stefan was it terrible. Yeah. See he’s over in the back. Oh my God. I can’t believe she’s doing this. Yes. Absolutely.
Jen Gottlieb (01:12:40 -> 01:13:12)
Absolutely. So, the one of the acronyms that I like to use and I still use this every single day when I go to be seen when I don’t feel like, because even though I do this all the time, I still have times where I don’t feel like being seen. I’m like, I just don’t feel like I look good today. I’m a human. We all have that okay. We have that inner voice. The key is listening to the inner voice and then saying okay, inner voice. Shut up. All right. I’m going to focus on helping one person today. H O P E help one person every day. So if I stop thinking about myself and I turn on my phone that, that I G live, I do every morning. No makeup on. You think I want to do that every morning.
Dr. Lyon (01:13:13 -> 01:13:13)
Jen Gottlieb (01:13:13 -> 01:13:34)
No. Okay. But I think about the one I get D M S after every single, every single time you help me so much today. Thank you so much for that thing that you said. It really got me out of my own way. It got me out of my head. I think about one person that’s watching and what they’re going to get out of that and not about me and then suddenly I’m not nervous anymore because it’s not about me. I’m doing it for someone else
Dr. Lyon (01:13:34 -> 01:14:21)
You know, that’s really profound. That is actually a stress response. That that’s, yeah, everybody thinks about fight or flight. But there are other ways, it’s not a stress response, it’s a adaptive stress response or I’m going to just highlight this really quickly is that we always think about doing something we don’t like and having this experience where there’s a fight or flight. Well, there’s actually two other stress responses and that is the tendon befriend, which is having a stressful moment feeling instead of turning inward, actually turning outward to help other people. And that’s actually an adaptive stress response. And then the other one is the courage response, which is exactly what you also mentioned. If you have this experience where you don’t want to do something or you feel afraid, but you do it anyway. There’s, that’s a courage response,
Jen Gottlieb (01:14:21 -> 01:14:24)
courage response. And then the other one is a tend and befriend,
Dr. Lyon (01:14:24 -> 01:14:35)
tend and befriend, tend and befriend. So when you are feeling stressed or you are feeling discourse inside instead of it becoming about you and feeling like, oh gosh, you know, I’m so scared to do this. You reach out to other people.
Jen Gottlieb (01:14:36 -> 01:14:41)
You know, this is why we’re a great team. I knew the idea and then you brought the science to it and backed it up.
Dr. Lyon (01:14:42 -> 01:16:22)
No, it’s just, it’s amazing to see. Um So, you know, all the individuals I say this, you know, all but the majority, 90% of the individuals that ultimately reach their highest potential, at least, you know, of course, my population of patients and friends have really done amazing things in the world and are doing amazing things and they all have very similar adaptations. Yeah. And it’s just fascinating to see. Yes. Yes, absolutely. One of them. So when someone is putting yourself on social media and they realize it’s not about them, so the initial uh kind of sticky pointed, okay, I’m gonna get up, I’m gonna do some no makeup, which by the way, when I’m in the gym, I totally do it. I look terrible. And I’m just like, okay, cool. Let’s go. There’s you go to the effort to post something and there’s inevitable backlash because you can’t please everybody all the time. And if you do, you’re obviously doing something wrong. How do you suggest people navigate that experience? Because again, you’ve also been, you were a VH one host for 14 seasons some metal. What was it? I was on that metal show, that metal show for 14 seasons. You’ve been on broad the way you are one of the most sought after speakers, motivational speakers. Everybody’s like, oh my God, Jen Gottlieb. Um uh, well, I’ll tell the story later but someone’s like, oh my God, I can’t believe she came to speak. It was Melissa, you know, just so thrilled. But, um, yeah, so how do you deal with the backlash and how should someone deal with the backlash? And then, you know, as they’re navigating this new world, this social media world.
Jen Gottlieb (01:16:22 -> 01:19:25)
So the more that you stand for what you believe in, which is unbelievably important, the more you’re going to get haters, you’re going to get haters, you’re gonna get trolls that just is what it is. And back when I was on VH1, I was a very inauthentic version of myself. That was part of my, that was part of the ship to shift moment, right? When I realized that I was really not being who I was. And so my life kind of imploded on itself because when you’re not showing up authentically, that’s usually what happens. You have no control over it. The universe is just like, you know what, I’m gonna smack you in the face back into alignment and it’s gonna hurt and it did. But I was this heavy metal girl in the public eye and I don’t even like heavy metal music and people started to catch on. They were like, I was an actress, I was playing a part. I got this great gig and I was like, okay, I’m just gonna keep going with this. And all of a sudden I had this big audience of all these metal people that really loved metal and they were like, die hard metal. They’re amazing. They’re the greatest fans in the world, but I knew nothing about metal and I had to like, pretend that I did. Okay. And so I was like super blonde and like these ripped up rocker shirts. I don’t even know the bands that were on my shirt. I didn’t know the people actually helped me because not be nervous when I would be in the dressing room and like these big rock stars would come in and I wouldn’t even know who they were. So I wasn’t starstruck. I was like, what up? Hey, you know, like, however there were people that would say mean things all the time and there still are even to this day, there’s people that come onto my lives and spam it or if I have an opinion about something specific, like I did a real the other day about I believe that successful people are fast decision makers and there’s a lot that really went very viral. There’s like three million views there, but there’s also a ton of comments of people that don’t agree and I like that because that actually provides a conversation the way that I deal with it is I send all the compassion and empathy and love to the humans that are commenting on my posts with whatever they believe to be true. Because I fully believe that if you’re taking time to comment on one of my posts, you’re actually lifting that up so more people can see it. And the people that are for me are gonna be for me and the people that aren’t for me are going to go away and that’s great to hurt people, hurt people. So there’s never one human being that’s going to comment something negative on your post that’s more successful than you. They’re just not right because the people that are really successful and happy aren’t going and commenting negative things on people. So I just think about that person and I send them love because I’m so sorry that you’re hurting or I activated you or you’re feeling some sort of way that you need to come on and try to make me feel bad. That’s sad. That makes me feel sad. So sometimes I’ll respond and I’ll say, you know, like, thank you so much for your comment. This meant the world to me that you have a different viewpoint and I’m sending you all the love in the world. If you think about it, nobody can get mad and fight you for saying that like, what are you even gonna say, or I’ll just let it go and I won’t answer or I’ll block or I’ll delete but know that it’s going to happen. And the way that you respond is your choice, it’s all about perspective. You can look at it like this is the worst thing. I’m never going to be seen again because everybody thinks all these bad things or you could say, wow, I’m starting a conversation here and I’m so sorry that I, that I activated you. I’m sending you love and compassion and gratitude for you. And I hope that you, you know, live your best life by.
Dr. Lyon (01:19:26 -> 01:19:32)
So that’s it. And you move on. Did it trick you in the beginning or were you, were you prepared for it
Jen Gottlieb (01:19:33 -> 01:20:44)
when vh one prepared me in a big way? Because people would say really mean things back then because it was all about the way that I looked. It wasn’t about what I had to say. It was all about my boobs or how skinny I was or how blonde I was or my voice or whatever. It really mean things that they would say and it was all about like physical things. And so that really stung for me back in the day when my whole worth was wrapped around what I looked like because it was because that was my job. And so if they were like making digs on that, and I didn’t know who I really wasn’t. The only thing that was making me feel worthy was the fact that I was this hot girl on this show and they were saying you’re not that hot or you’re too skinny or you need to eat a cheeseburger or whatever they were saying to me. Yeah, that hurt. But the cool thing about it is I believe that fully believe that every single thing that’s happened to me is a very important lesson to make me who I am becoming. And now I’m someone that needs to be equipped for people to say things to me. And since I experienced that, that was the greatest gift because it taught me that none of that stuff can really bring me down. They’re just words really. And at the end of the day, like I get to choose and decide who I am and what I mean to this world and I get to know who I am in my heart and I know that. So the words don’t really mean anything to me anymore, but they did back then
Dr. Lyon (01:20:45 -> 01:20:54)
So basically what you’re saying is that if people are experiencing that they have to understand that it’s all part of the journey to be able to get to where they want to be.
Jen Gottlieb (01:20:54 -> 01:21:47)
Yeah. And the people that are for you, there’s going to be so many people out there. So let’s say you decided, okay. So this thing about eating a lot of protein and eating meat and females building muscle is too controversial. Like I can’t talk about it because there’s gonna be people that don’t agree with me. It’s way too controversial. So I’m just not going to talk about it because I don’t want people to say bad things about me. Imagine if you thought that and said that and kept quiet because you were scared of what people would say. There are millions of women whose lives you’re changing because they heard this and they now believe in it now for every million per like woman, I don’t know the math but like there’s going to be one or two that don’t believe it and say something mean, but those people aren’t for you. Bye, Felicia. It’s your responsibility to be sharing this message with the world for the people that do need it. And you can’t let that one or two people that say something mean take away your purpose on this planet,
Dr. Lyon (01:21:47 -> 01:22:04)
right? What do you think is the? So you have, you know, you have multiple pillars of what you do. You’re a motivational speaker, you also you’re an entrepreneur, you have a, it’s not an agency, right? It is a, is an agency used to be an agency. Okay. It is. Now
Jen Gottlieb (01:22:04 -> 01:22:07)
you have to mastermind an educational platform, okay for
Dr. Lyon (01:22:07 -> 01:22:11)
people who are able, who are willing and ready to get into the public
Jen Gottlieb (01:22:11 -> 01:22:14)
eye, maybe they’re not ready but they’re willing, right?
Dr. Lyon (01:22:14 -> 01:22:17)
What is the biggest thing that holds people back
Jen Gottlieb (01:22:17 -> 01:24:20)
their mindset. It’s always mindset. And my title, my company is actually, I don’t know if you know this, I’m co founder and CMO, but it’s not Chief marketing Officer. I’m chief mindset officer. I love that. Yeah, because we noticed when we first started building this company and it was all about getting in the media and being visible and becoming a recognized expert in your space that we teach people how to do that. So someone like you before, you were the recognized expert because you are now, but we would teach you how to get there, right? And how to become the doctor that everyone’s going to, to learn about uh muscle centric, you know, exercise and eating a lot of protein and stuff like that. But that’s for anybody that, that’s an expert. However, the thing that we saw that was happening was they knew the tools, they knew how to do it, they knew that they needed to do it, but they weren’t doing it. And the only reason why they, they weren’t being visible and they weren’t making themselves seen was because they didn’t feel worthy. They felt like they were an impostor. They were scared of what people would think. They were scared of judgment, they were scared of success, they were scared of all these things. So we understood that a very, very big component of this was mindset and so were secretly a personal development company and we use personal development and mindset. We use media as the gateway to get to your full actualization of who you truly are and who you truly meant to be. Because what we would see is our clients, would we give them the confidence we help, give them the tools to be able to move past or move through imposter syndrome. I don’t really believe that we move past it completely. It’s always gonna be there with us, but we embrace it. We put in the passenger seat of the car, we take action and every time you do, you get a little bit better, a little bit more confident. And we would see our clients like get on Good Morning America and see themselves on television and all of a sudden when they saw themselves on television as their most authentic self doing what they’re meant to do there like holy crap, I can do this. That’s who I’m meant to be. And then all of a sudden the chains break, the barriers are gone and they are now able to be seen. You just got to get to that first step and see yourself in that light and see the people that you’re able to impact and that you’re able to help from fully being visible as your most authentic version of you. And then all of a sudden when you see that it’s your unstoppable,
Dr. Lyon (01:24:20 -> 01:24:22)
you can’t unsee it. It’s like a servant leader.
Jen Gottlieb (01:24:22 -> 01:24:23)
That’s exactly right.
Dr. Lyon (01:24:23 -> 01:24:30)
A servant leader. Stepping up into their role, their responsibility to the world. Yeah. How does someone get there? How did you get there?
Jen Gottlieb (01:24:30 -> 01:25:23)
A lot of practice, a lot of failure? A lot of doing a really bad job and learning from that. A lot of rejection. I still get rejected all the time. And you said that I’m a very sought after speaker. I still get rejected to speak all the time. And I’m always grateful for all of those rejections because every single time I get rejected, and I’m reminded that that is actually secretly yes to something else that’s on the way that I get better at getting rejected. So every time I mess up, I grow and I get better. And I actually when I speak, I show this transfer, I call it the Facebook Live Transformation video. And it’s a video of me from the very first Facebook live that I ever did when I first started out and it’s like a montage and it shows like all different. Facebook lives up into me on a stage and me now and it’s crazy to see how bad it was in the beginning, but like how much better it got and better and better and better. So I used to be absolutely petrified to be seen as myself.
Dr. Lyon (01:25:23 -> 01:25:25)
Why? Just because it was vulnerable or
Jen Gottlieb (01:25:25 -> 01:26:32)
Yeah. Well, I grew up being an actress and my go to was always, oh, they’ll like me when I, when I become this person when I become this character. So when I am um wearing all this makeup and I’ve got the wig on and I’m playing the role of this character. I feel like I’m free because I don’t have to really be me and I can be on stage and I can get the love and I can get the attention and I can feel seen but not really seen. And I always, I just fell into that realm of, I need to be good enough for them to pick me when you’re an actress. You’re always waiting to be chosen. You always need to be pretty enough blonde enough or say the line is good enough or you know, am I tall enough for you? Is my voice good enough for you. And I would just go into room after room after room saying please pick me, please pick me. Am I good enough for you? I can make myself good for you. I can be this character I can be and my brain just got trained to do that. And so over time, what it did is it took away the confidence that I had within myself as who I really was. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. It’s like because I’m not good enough as me. I have to transform into all these versions of myself to be chosen. So the first time that I ever spoke on a stage as myself, I was like peeing my
Dr. Lyon (01:26:32 -> 01:26:34)
pants. Oh God,
Jen Gottlieb (01:26:34 -> 01:27:27)
like Gabrielle, I was like next level. It was actually a fitness studio and this is how I learned that it was my responsibility to do that. So I always thought that my purpose in life was to read other people’s lines and play characters and be an actress. And that was my purpose and I love acting. So I always believed that until I got this first speaking engagement to speak to, it was like 12 fitness professionals in a bar studio and I couldn’t wear shoes. There was no microphone and there was sitting on the floor of these 12 people. Okay? And this was like my big speaking engagement and I walk in and I’m so scared, like I’ve never been so nervous in my life and I’ve performed on Broadway, Okay. Never been so nervous. And I get like 15 minutes into my talk and I start to see the women on the floors, eyes tear up and they start crying and then I’m like, there’s something here and then when I was done.
Dr. Lyon (01:27:27 -> 01:27:29)
So I’m guessing you weren’t talking about bar class.
Jen Gottlieb (01:27:29 -> 01:29:16)
Definitely not I was talking about my journey to getting to the business that I had at that point, which was a very successful personal training business and teaching them how to do that as well and motivating them and telling my story, my real story, the real story, the rock bottom story, the eating disorder story. All of the stuff that came along with being an actress and then having to get myself out of that, being dumped, my show getting canceled everything that led me to building my business and they’re hysterical. We get done. I’m like, wow, I did it. It wasn’t that bad. Right? Coins in the Confidence Bank. Okay. Got to the other side. And when they came up to me and hugged me and said, you just changed my life. I was like, this is my purpose. It was always supposed to be on stage but not what I envisioned it. Initially, I have to take the mask down. I have to be me and I’m a vessel to share my story and it all makes sense. You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. Now it makes sense because I’m being seen as me and I’m using my story. I’m using all of all of the ship that, that that was, you know, thrown on me. If you’re sitting and you’re listening, you’re like all these horrible things have happened to me, your messages. Eventually one day gonna be your message that you used to help people. It’s given to you for a reason, right? The cracks are what let the light shine through and you need those cracks for the light to shine through. And in that moment, I was using my cracks and giving these people light that I didn’t even realize I was doing at the time, I was too busy being nervous like, oh my God, what are they gonna think of me? But at the end, it was so clear that because I was taking down the wall and taking down the mask and taking down the makeup and showing my heart to them that there was real impact to be made in that room. And I was actually serving a bigger purpose than I ever thought I ever would. And that was what made me more confident to go do it again. And you asked like, how did I start my journey? It was a bunch of opportunities like that, that got better and better and better and better and better over time.
Dr. Lyon (01:29:16 -> 01:29:32)
And then after, so you were a personal trainer. So you were an actress, then, you know, Broadway actress, the whole thing and then you went into personal training and health coaching, right? Coaching. What happened after that? This was all in New York City, right?
Jen Gottlieb (01:29:32 -> 01:30:55)
It was all in New York City. Yeah. So I, I lost everything when I became a personal trainer because I always wanted to become a personal trainer. I was always into working out. I didn’t really know what I was doing when, when I was an actress and I was just like doing hours and hours of cardio. We’ve talked about that, right? And not healthy. And I went through a very severe eating disorder for a very long time in my life and it was all, you know, over exercising and bulimia and all of this really disordered kind of thinking around food and body image because that was the world that I lived in. And when my show got canceled and my boyfriend broke up with me, I found out he was cheating on me with my friend and I went from living in this million dollar apartment with him, thought we were gonna get married to moving into this tiny little room with like six other actors in the window that faced a brick wall. And I lost everything in like a week’s time. And I had to rebuild my life and figure out who the hell I was because I was like Metal girl in the public eye. And I’m like, I can’t keep doing this. This is a lie. Like I have to be me. What do I really want to do? And I’m like, I know I’ve always wanted to be a trainer. I always wanted to help people and that’s way better. Like I was still an actress. I was like, that’s way better than being a babysitter or like waiting tables. You know, you have to do that stuff when you’re acting like I’m gonna be a trainer. So I built this business and as I was building it, I was like, this is great entrepreneurship who knew I loved it. And I was, I was using the media and social media to retail the story and to finally start coming out as who I really was and to change the narrative. So I learned a lot about media and I learned a lot about branding.
Dr. Lyon (01:30:55 -> 01:30:58)
Did you think about it? Was it a conscious at the time
Jen Gottlieb (01:30:58 -> 01:31:13)
I think it was not really, I was learning as I went, I was diving into personal development, I was going to all these personal development events. I was learning about branding. I was, I was kind of like my back was against the wall and I was forced to, I wasn’t like, I’m going to be the best at this and I’m gonna build a business about it. One day I knew I know I was like,
Dr. Lyon (01:31:13 -> 01:31:19)
You’re like holy shit, I’m in a room with six other people and I need to figure out what I’m going to do with my life.
Jen Gottlieb (01:31:19 -> 01:32:53)
That’s exactly right. I was forced. And so I did and I built this great business and I loved it. But I, I always knew that there was this other side of me that I was not this other dream that I wasn’t fulfilling this other piece of my purpose that I wasn’t doing, which was being on stage. And I realized that moment when I was in front of those 12 fitness professionals or whatever, you know, aerobics, teachers, bar teachers. That moment I was like, wow, I need to get back on stage. And then I went to this event was the Lewis Howes event. And we did this meditation in the room where we had to envision our perfect day. And at no point in time did I ever realize that I wanted this until this moment? And they had to close their eyes and like, okay, if you could have anything that you want, just envision what it would be like. Don’t even worry about anyone else in your life. Just what do you want. And all of a sudden I saw love and I saw a relationship and I was like, oh my God, I’m in like a power couple like Jay Z and Beyonce and like, I’m speaking on stage like Tony Robbins. But I’m kinda like Britney Spears because I get to wear great outfits and I get to dance on stage and I saw this whole vision and I was like, I didn’t even know that this is what I wanted that this existed that I could like be on stage as myself. And I started to explore it more. And then I met Chris and Chris was doing these events for entrepreneurs and I loved them. And all of a sudden I started seeing like, whoa Jay Z Beyonce. Oh my God. Britney Spears. Tony Robbins. Oh my God. It’s all coming together like it’s all there and we decided to come together and create this business together. So it started off as just Chris doing these events and we’re like, what if we took this and expanded it and incorporated the mindset piece and helped entrepreneurs and business owners fully be seen and then it grew into what it is now
Dr. Lyon (01:32:54 -> 01:32:55)
and it’s called unfair advantage the whole
Jen Gottlieb (01:32:56 -> 01:33:02)
the company’s super connector media, super connector media, the event that we used to do was called unfair advantage. Like you came to one of those
Dr. Lyon (01:33:02 -> 01:33:41)
so fun. That’s the story. So that’s amazing. When on your journey, did you ever question yourself? Because I think, you know, I get a lot of um people reach out to me and they asked me about career paths. And what you’re saying here is not looking for somebody else’s career path, but actually really getting in touch with who that individual is. So if you are at home and you are listening and you have messaged me about what it is that you need to do to get to this endpoint. That might not be the right question. The right original question might be. Who are you authentically?
Jen Gottlieb (01:33:41 -> 01:36:08)
Yeah. It’s so funny that you asked this, you were so tapped in because I was talking about this this morning. A lot of people should all over themselves and they should, and I tell people when you should all over yourself, you make a mess because we get online or we listen to our family or our parents or people that mean, well, they love us but they think that we should live a certain life. And since we’re little kids, a lot of us are conditioned to do a certain career path or be a person that somebody else wanted them to be just because they love them and they care about them. It wasn’t ill willed at all. Sometimes it is. But a lot of the time it’s not. And then we get online and we’re like, oh, my gosh. I should have a course like her, I should have a career like them. I should become a motivational speaker because she’s doing it. Even though that’s not even what you want, I should have a podcast even though maybe that’s not what you want. And we start to forget who we really are and we start to manipulate or maneuver in a, manipulate the situation so that we are competing with people, even though we don’t necessarily really know that we want that. And then all of a sudden what I’ve seen, a lot of people do and what I’ve seen happen for a lot of people is they build businesses that they hate. They end up there. Like I hate my business. I hate doing podcasts. You know, some people it’s not for, I hate courses. I hate one on one coaching. Why’d you do it? Because someone told me that I should because I saw that this girl was doing it and it looked like it was, you know, the right way to do it. So get ahead of yourself. Right now, if you’re listening to this, you’re an unbelievable position. You are the luckiest human in the world if you haven’t started yet or even your, it’s not too late. You could change everything if you want to, every single day is a new day to reinvent yourself. Decide what kind of life you want to live. What? When are you the most in the pocket? When are you the most inflow? Think about that time in your life when you were just like, oh my God, time stopped when I was doing that. That is my like, you know, when you’re doing something and it’s like you could do it for hours and it doesn’t even feel like time is moving. That’s when you know you’re in the pocket. Think about the times in your life when you’re the most in the pocket and then think about how you incorporate that feeling or that thing that you’re doing when you’re in the pocket in your future. What does that look like? What are you doing? Are you podcasting? Do you have a course? Are you coaching one on one? Are you working a 9 to 5 at a really big Fortune 500 company? What is that that you’re doing? And then work backwards. Don’t just throw spaghetti at the wall and try to keep up with the Joneses and try to create what everybody else created because they told you that you should do it. This is your life, you get one life, we get one shot. I feel like Eminem everything you’ve ever wanted
Dr. Lyon (01:36:09 -> 01:36:51)
No, it’s true. It’s true. I think that that will, it saves a lot of, it, will save a lot of people. A lot of time if you’re listening to this, you know, and I can, I can just speak from it. From a physician standpoint is people say, oh, well, you know, your physician, you shouldn’t have a podcast or you’re a physician or you’re doing X Y and Z, you shouldn’t be doing this or that. And it’s really interesting when one thinks about what is the impact that they want to have and what does their day look like? You talk a lot about authentic self. How does someone really get to the core of that? Have you thought about that? Do you teach people to dive into that?
Jen Gottlieb (01:36:51 -> 01:37:03)
Yeah, it’s one of the most important things and it’s one of the most difficult things ironically to find out who we really are because when were kids think about it, we are, you have two kids? So, you know, we are the most real kind
Dr. Lyon (01:37:03 -> 01:37:07)
kind of like three kids. And I’m just kidding. But yeah,
Jen Gottlieb (01:37:07 -> 01:37:21)
little kids, like, they don’t care what people think they go for hugs, they dress up like superheroes and princesses and, you know, they have temper tantrums on the floor when they want something. They are their most authentic selves. They are the most confident people ever
Dr. Lyon (01:37:21 -> 01:37:24)
So basically, if you’re listening to this, please do not do that,
Jen Gottlieb (01:37:24 -> 01:38:00)
don’t do it. But here’s the thing over time we get conditioned, we get conditioned to be good. You will get, you will have love when you’re good. When you shut that part of yourself down, you need to be this way. You need to be that way. The media will tell you to be a certain way. Social media will tell you to be a certain way. And pretty soon we forget who we are and we’re like, why, how am I 36 like, I forget who I am. It’s normal. So the first thing I want you to do is realize that it’s okay. That’s okay. You’re, you’re, you’re one of many and we’re in this together and it’s okay and there’s still time and the best way for me, this is what I do. So I told you when we started this, I will never share anything that I don’t personally do myself
Dr. Lyon (01:38:00 -> 01:38:01)
Which I love about you
Jen Gottlieb (01:38:02 -> 01:38:25)
Thank you. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t possibly tell you to do something that I don’t do myself. It doesn’t work for me in my truth. So this is, this is called a Wonder Walk. And I do wonder walks in order to for two things to get tapped back into who I really am to my core, to my inner child, to who Jenny really is and what Jenny really wants and also to manifest what I desire. So I know you’re a big fan of movement and we both have our treadmill desks and we’re both getting our steps.
Dr. Lyon (01:38:25 -> 01:38:30)
I actually got the desk that, that I asked for us, Chris and we, we have the same matching treadmills.
Jen Gottlieb (01:38:30 -> 01:40:49)
Yeah, it’s the best because I believe, and you could probably tell me the science behind this. I don’t know. The science is why we’re a great team. When you’re moving, your brain changes, your brain changes. And I believe that when I’m walking in and when I’m moving, something happens where I’m just opened up to my core, to my heart, to my soul, to the universe. I just feel tapped in. So I go on these wonder walks and I use wonder works for two things and let’s talk about getting tapped into your authentic self because that was your question, what I will do and so be open with me here. You guys, if you want to try it, it’s super fun. I’ll put on a song from my childhood, a song that I was obsessed with when I was a kid that really made me just like dance freely and, and openly and just like, feel fun and joy. And for me, maybe it’s like a Jackson five song or it’s a Disney song or it’s a Broadway song or a song from a movie or maybe just a song that my mom would play like my mom would dance around the room with me to a Whitney Houston song when we were little. And when I put that song on and I walk and I feel that time in my body again because you can probably tell me the signs about this, but music can initiate a memory in your brain very clearly, right? And it can bring you back there. And so I’ll walk around, I’ll walk around the block as if I’m little Jenny again, dancing with my mom in the living room to that song. And I’ll bring back those memories and those feelings and all of a sudden I’ll be like, that’s who I am. And I’ll talk to her and I’m like, hey Jen, what do you want? And she’ll usually tell me and I like to use the, the sensory, I like to use the music and all of a sudden my body changes when I hear one of those songs like, oh, I walk differently. I move differently. I breathe differently. I like really step into it and that’s what helps me. And then I also do wonder walks when I’m manifesting or creating what I want. So I can either tap back into who I was or who I truly am or who I want to be. So sometimes I’ll walk around the planet as if I’m the person that has everything that I want. So I’ll turn on a song that makes me feel really pumped and I’ll be like, alright, thank God for my best selling book. Thank God for the, you know, the stages that I’m on and I’m the girl that just got done speaking on the biggest stage ever. And this is for me personally think about what your goal is, you know, and I’m walking home and how do I feel and I embrace those feelings and like I walk like that person, why are we waiting to become the person that we want to be? We can actually step into that person. Now, if we really can sense and feel and step into that and be seen as that person, as we walk down the block in New York City, nobody cares if you’re talking to yourself because it’s 100 that is one
Dr. Lyon (01:40:49 -> 01:40:50)
Jen Gottlieb (01:40:50 -> 01:41:00)
So that’s, that’s the way that I play pretend and, and it actually, it works for me and maybe there’s science behind that. Maybe you could tell me why that works well.
Dr. Lyon (01:41:00 -> 01:41:37)
I don’t even think that we need to know if the science is behind it or why it works because it clearly works and it definitely works for you. You know, you talk a lot about, there’s a couple things that I want to make sure that we get to manifesting, which is, which is a big thing for you. And so I want to talk about that and then I also want to talk about the concept of self promotion versus or self worth, self promotion. How can we feel good about that? Because, you know, there’s a lot of people that don’t necessarily feel good about making it about them, which again, you said that it’s not really about the person, but people ask you about that. Tell us
Jen Gottlieb (01:41:37 -> 01:42:14)
self promotion feels gross. It feels yucky. I don’t want to sell myself. I don’t want to talk about myself. Again, I’ll go back to visibility is your responsibility. Self promotion is your responsibility. Because if you’re not promoting yourself, people don’t know you exist and then they can’t get your help. We already talked about that. So let’s talk about the fact that this is my favorite analogy in the world. Okay. So when that Top Gun movie came out, you remember when that movie came out or like when White Lotus was all the rage people that I, that I coach that are so scared to talk about their offers and their services and everything amazing that they do for the world. They were on social media screaming from the rooftops, how Fabulous Top Gun was and how everybody needed to go see it
Dr. Lyon (01:42:15 -> 01:42:16)
I had no idea really
Jen Gottlieb (01:42:16 -> 01:44:16)
promoting the crap out of Top Gun or White Lotus or whatever, great restaurant they just want to or whatever show they’re watching on TV. People are really excited to promote things as long as it’s not themselves. And I’m like, if everybody just sold their services, like they sold Top Gun or White Lotus or their favorite restaurant or their favorite city to travel to in Italy. Then everybody would be amazing salespeople and promoters and everybody would get to hear from these fabulous people that are doing incredible things. So what I want you to do right now, if you’re listening and you have a hard time promoting yourself, you have a hard time marketing yourself are talking about the great work that you do. Number one, go back to what I said in the beginning, you’re thinking about that one person that needs to hear from you in order for their life to change. I know there are several doctors here that if a patient didn’t find them on the internet, that patient might be dead. So how this is not even like a game. This is like real life or death stuff for a lot of people that are listening to this right now because this is a lot of health practitioners listen to this podcast. But then I want you to also think about how would you sell Dr Gabrielle Lyon? I know that I could whenever Dr Gabrielle Lyon comes onto my Instagram live, I’m like, oh my God, every she’s the greatest, she changed my life. You have to follow her, right? You have to, you have to, it’s like, it’s, it’s my responsibility to share your greatness with the world because of what it did for me and what I know it could do for other people. What if you talked about yourself the way that you would talk about someone that changed your life. If you fully believe that what you do changes people’s lives and you can go and look back at the testimonials and you can go talk to your patients and they can tell you, oh my gosh, thank you so much. You did this for me. You did X Y Z for me. Go back and read your testimonials, go back and read your reviews, go back and look at your patients that you’ve saved their lives and hear from them and listen to them and then pretend that it’s not you that did that. How would you brag about that person? That doctor that helped that person save their life? Would you brag about them from the rooftops? Would you be self promoting that person everywhere? Yes. But because it’s you, your ego is like, oh, I don’t want to brag e people that are worried about being Draghi will never come off bragging because bragging don’t worry about being baggy. They just brag.
Dr. Lyon (01:44:16 -> 01:44:40)
Right. Right. That’s, that’s all so true. Um You know, you talk a lot about mindset and you talk a lot about motivation. Has that ever faltered for you? Has there ever been a time where you just haven’t felt super motivated and just experienced things that you wish that everybody.
Jen Gottlieb (01:44:40 -> 01:44:42)
Yes, all the time.
Dr. Lyon (01:44:42 -> 01:44:44)
Well, we have to hear.
Jen Gottlieb (01:44:44 -> 01:48:58)
Yes. So we’re not always motivated and, and before I even tell you my personal stories because I will, I want to really hit home this one thing that’s helped me and this is going to help the listeners. You’re not, it’s going to be very rare that you believe in yourself or believe in this or believe in anything or believe invisibility or believe that you’re the bomb dot com, 100% 100% of the time. Okay. There’s a lot of quote unquote gurus on the internet or motivational people that are like you got to be 100%. You got to be all in every day, believe in yourself. If we waited to take action until we felt 100% motivation, we would never do anything. We’re humans, we’re always going to have a little bit of doubt. We’re always going to have a little bit of disbelief. It’s a normal thing. It’s completely normal for our brains. So your goal is to not get 200%. It’s just to get to 51%. If you can believe a little bit more than you don’t, you can take that first action step. And as we talked about before the first action step will get you to a little bit more belief, which will get you a little bit more, which will get you a little bit more action is what gets clarity and momentum, not sitting around and hoping for that 100% of Motivation to magically appear. So that’s the first step, believe 51%. And then for me personally, I’m always going through stuff. I’m a human. I’m always, I work really hard to make my life easy, really hard. So I do all the stuff that I’m talking about. I do the wonder walks. I go to the gym every day, non negotiable to practice being uncomfortable. I do ice baths every Sunday in my own bathtub. I don’t even have a cool thing. I like actually order 15 bags of ice and put them in my tub and do ice baths. Not for the health part of it, partially, but mostly to do uncomfortable things so that I can prove to myself that when an uncomfortable situation happens, which because I’m an entrepreneur, they happen every damn day. I’m feeling unmotivated every day. I’m feeling like I failed every day. I’m feeling like I rejected. I’m getting rejected all the time. But because I practice being uncomfortable and I practice and I know that I’m always okay and I can always get to the other side and I put my reps in, it gets a lot easier. So one other thing that I do and I’m gonna share this with you guys is I have an album in my phone that’s screenshots of all the rejection emails that I get I do and I just read them out loud to a speaking engagement the other day. At Jesse Lees event because what that does for me is it makes it fun if we can make friends with rejection and understand that when we’re getting rejected, it actually is just an unbelievable opportunity for something really cool to happen in the future and we can make light of it. We’ve taken away the power of that rejection. We’ve taken away the power of the fear of rejection, right? So if I can open up that album and be like, oh, I have, I’ve got eight rejection emails in here. Let’s laugh about them. We take away its power. And if I can lift like one day, that guy is gonna be real sorry because when they want to hire me to speak, when I’m like the greatest motivational speaker of all time, which is happening very soon, I’m gonna be a lot more expensive than that. Okay. And like make jokes. So that’s one of the ways that I do it. But you ask like, do I ever struggle 100%? And sometimes, but I do have to say this is really important for those of you that are like, okay, Jen, you say I need to be seen, I need to be visible. I need to share my messes my message. But there’s something that I’m dealing with that I don’t feel comfortable sharing. That’s not necessarily my story to share or I’m still healing and recovering from it is that should I share that when should I not be seen? And it’s very important to know when to be seen and when to not because if you have an open wound, right, we know the difference between open wound and scar, right and open wounds bleeding an open wound. We’re not feeling very empowered when we’re trying to stop the bleeding. When we’re working with our therapists and our friends and our family and our loved ones and we’re healing that wound, it’s probably the best to stay quiet until it’s scarred over. And you’ve got your battle wound and you can say I can now share this from an empowered place. I’ve learned things from it and I can help you from the lessons that I’ve learned because now it’s a scar. So I always tell people if you’re debating on, if you want to share something or not, if it’s ready, if it’s an open wound and it’s bleeding and you’re still just trying to stop the bleeding, take you some time, don’t share it yet. Because if you’re wanting to be a leader and an expert in the space and you’re sharing an open wound that’s bleeding, you’re not going to come from an empowered place, right? You want to make sure that you’re always sharing from the place of I went through this. I struggle just like you, but I learned a lot on the other side. And here’s the lessons that I learned and I can bring that to you now because now it’s a cool scar.
Dr. Lyon (01:48:58 -> 01:49:13)
Right. Yeah, I totally agree with that. When people are in the moment of significant trauma, it’s not the time Because also who you are in that moment is not who you will become. And it’s very challenging.
Jen Gottlieb (01:49:14 -> 01:49:34)
100%. Yeah, I need to get to the other side too and I promise you anyone that’s struggling right now. If you are struggling right now, I can say this only from personal experience that one day time never stops. I have look, it says time on my wrist. It’s very faded tattoo but that’s my only tattoo that I have. It’s not as cool as yours but it says time we
Dr. Lyon (01:49:34 -> 01:49:35)
can, we can arrange that
Jen Gottlieb (01:49:35 -> 01:50:21)
We I need to arrange a few more tats now that I have this little one, I’m like okay, I pop my cherry. I’m good. I got this on my wrist because not because I wanted a tattoo but because I wanted the reminder of time, the fact that time never stops and discomfort is only temporary and no matter how hard it is, the thing that you’re going through, no matter what it will end, eventually, eventually, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a year, maybe not in five years, maybe, you know, who knows when it will end. But the one thing that’s certain is you will end up in your bed tonight and you will wake up and the next day will come and time doesn’t stop and it keeps on going and the discomfort that you’re in eventually will fade and one day you’ll know why it happened. One day there will be growth, there will be a story, there will be a lesson. You will be a stronger person and you’ll be able to talk about it from an empowered place. You don’t know when, but one day you’ll know why
Dr. Lyon (01:50:22 -> 01:50:27)
do you find that when you are in alignment, that there’s an ease of the way in which things happen?
Jen Gottlieb (01:50:28 -> 01:51:48)
Oh Yeah, I love that. You said that we all feel it, you know when you’re flowing and so when you’re flowing, don’t stop your flow. People stop their flow. This upsets me. I’ve done it before to they self sabotage. So people get scared of the flow. The flow is the greatest gift ever. You know, when you’re in flow and all the good things start to happen, you know that the term when it rains, it pours okay. So people think about that as a negative term like, oh the things are bad, things are happening. It’s raining, it’s gonna pour, right? What if you thought about when it rains good, it pours good and like the law of the universe is when you’re radiating at a really powerful energy of happiness and flow and ease and fun. More of that stuff comes to you because it’s just science like like attracts like like when you’re walking around the planet like a happy person. You’re gonna attract more happy people into your life. You’re gonna attract more happy opportunities. But here’s the thing that people do to stop the flow. Suddenly they start getting great opportunities, right? Things start working like, oh my gosh, I’m being seen, Jen told me to do an Instagram. I did, I got some clients like, oh my God, I got some lights. I got some followers were inflow. Holy crap. This is good. And then all of a sudden there like when’s the other shoe gonna drop something bad is gonna happen? It’s too good. This is too good. I’m gonna jinx it. It’s getting too good. Something bad. You know what? I’m just gonna sabotage it myself so that nothing bad can happen. I’m in control and then people bring themselves down. What if instead of stopping yourself? You ask yourself this is so good. How much better can it get?
Dr. Lyon (01:51:49 -> 01:51:51)
I like I like that one. Yep.
Jen Gottlieb (01:51:52 -> 01:52:03)
It’s harder to do that one, right? Because when you open that up, you open up for more uncertainty. Oh my God. What if it got so good that I couldn’t, I lose people fear success. Fear of success is a really common.
Dr. Lyon (01:52:04 -> 01:52:17)
Do you think they fear success or do they think? Do you think that people fear just a different feeling that perhaps it’s just an unknown? The feeling is unknown but it’s not the success itself. I mean, I don’t know. But do you think?
Jen Gottlieb (01:52:18 -> 01:52:52)
Yeah, I think that it’s different for everybody. I think that that’s an unbelievable point. I think there’s, for me personally, um, my fears of success have always came with fear of overwhelmed, there’s gonna be too many opportunities and I won’t be able to handle it. Right. Like, or, um, if I get to that level it’s, it’s a higher level. So there’s more risk, more could be taken from me, right? Those are the subconscious thoughts that go through my mind. But everybody else has different forms of fear of success. And I think the listener really needs to tap in and be like, what’s stopping you when you get to that upper limit? Why do you bring yourself back down? Why do you not let it pour more opportunities on you? Why do you stop your flow?
Dr. Lyon (01:52:52 -> 01:52:57)
Yeah, I think that’s a great, that’s a great point. Have you ever read the book that the mountain is you?
Jen Gottlieb (01:52:57 -> 01:53:04)
No, but I’m going to now
Dr. Lyon (01:53:04 -> 01:53:07)
we have this um one of my best friends and I, Emily Prasella, we have a book club and she’s do you know her? She’s amazing. She’s a incredible entrepreneur.
Jen Gottlieb (01:53:08 -> 01:53:08)
Andy Presellas wife?
Dr. Lyon (01:53:10 -> 01:53:38)
Emily is an incredible entrepreneur. And so we have this book club and we talk and we read, well, I’m sure we’ll read your book and it’s all about leadership, personal development, all these things. And one of the books we read was the Mountain is you. And it talked about that we think about self sabotage in this way as if we’re doing it. And could it potentially be just an unfamiliar environment? And, You know, could it, could it be that I always
Jen Gottlieb (01:53:38 -> 01:53:47)
one hundred percent wer’e scared of the stuff that we are uncertain about? Uncertainty is Scary. We like to feel like we’re in control but we’re really not in control of anything. I’m going to read that book.
Dr. Lyon (01:53:47 -> 01:53:57)
Oh, you’ll love it. I’ll send it to you. It’s amazing in terms of where. Okay. So we didn’t actually talk about manifesting. I want to talk about it because I feel like you’re a pro manifester
Jen Gottlieb (01:53:58 -> 01:55:28)
I’m going to say that to manifest more pro manifesting. Yes. No, I’m pretty good at manifesting. And when I, when I talk about manifesting, I’m like really about where the womb makes the work. So I’m not completely like manifesting gets a bad name sometimes when people just think that it’s a magical thing that you can just think about stuff and it magically appears in your life like, oh you put something on a vision board and then boom, it’s there. My, when I talk about manifesting, I’m talking about reprogramming my subconscious so that it subconsciously takes action to get the thing that I want with less fear. So when I manifest, I’ve manifested like my my dream role in the Broadway show that I was in, I full on manifested that and the way that I did it was every single night I would envision myself in the costume on the stage, singing the songs and I would do the reps. I would do it over and over and over again in my mind and I would feel it as if it was real. So what that did was it made the opportunities to get that thing way more prevalent. It was like audition. Great. Here I go. I’ve never been to a Broadway audition in my life, but I was like, this is done. I already did it. My subconscious was like, this is mine. Didn’t get the role, didn’t get the role. Kept auditioning. I had an audition audition process for over a year to get that. Then I was the understudy. Then I had to watch this other girl play my part and I had to do all this. But the only thing that kept me going was this belief that I instilled in myself through the visualization and the believing that it was mine that then when the actual opportunity presented itself, I stepped right into it. And then when I experienced it, it was the exact visual.
Dr. Lyon (01:55:28 -> 01:55:29)
Jen Gottlieb (01:55:29 -> 01:56:05)
The same costume, the same theater that I had seen. And I remember the moment that I performed for the first time I walked backstage and I collapsed on the floor and I said to myself, any anything that you want, you can create, you just have to consistently and persistently take action. That’s the piece that a lot of people get wrong with manifesting. You can’t just daydream about it. You can dream big and you can think big people love to say that. Dream big, think big. But you have to do big. You have to do big if you don’t do big, if nothing happens, nothing happens. But the seeing it and the believing it helps you to do it. it all assists in that. And that is how you manifest.
Dr. Lyon (01:56:05 -> 01:56:11)
That is so much better than the woo woo manifesting. That is all that is all action oriented.
Jen Gottlieb (01:56:11 -> 01:56:12)
Dr. Lyon (01:56:12 -> 01:56:19)
And you know, I think that that’s really profound and special about you is you are very driven and very capable and you execute.
Jen Gottlieb (01:56:20 -> 01:56:23)
Thank you. So do you, I think that’s why we’re friends. Yes,
Dr. Lyon (01:56:23 -> 01:56:29)
this is one of many reasons. What are you working on now? What are you working on within yourself now?
Jen Gottlieb (01:56:30 -> 01:56:37)
Well, we’ve got the book. So as we both know which we have our book coming out very similar
Dr. Lyon (01:56:37 -> 01:56:40)
which by the way guys, we’re going to be having a party and a whole bunch of other things. It’s gonna be
Jen Gottlieb (01:56:40 -> 01:57:31)
unbelievable. It’s gonna be amazing. So that’s putting out a book for the very first time learning how to be a writer and launch a book and all of that new to me and stepping into that version of myself and my, I’m very public about saying this goal even though it makes me scared to say it because, and I’m going to do this right now for everybody, for the listeners because I want to encourage everybody to talk about your goals out loud. Even if it feels scary, I think a lot of people are very scared and timid to share their big goals because they’re scared. Oh What if people think who is she to say that? Or what if I fail? And I said it out loud and I fail, right? The more that you say your goals out loud, the more you never know who’s listening. So there could be somebody listening and they’re like, oh yeah, I need you for that thing. Or the universe is listening or yourself is listening and the more that you say what you want, the more you’re gonna subconsciously step into doing that. So my goal on this planet is to become the greatest motivational speaker of all time.
Dr. Lyon (01:57:31 -> 01:57:32)
Jen Gottlieb (01:57:32 -> 01:58:51)
I want to do that. I’m going to do that. And one of the things that I’m working on in my mindset, we talked about being seen as your most authentic self and stepping into that version of yourself now and um and, and taking action and doing and all these things that we’ve talked about, it really comes together with this goal for me and I only talk about this because I want people to know that like I’m doing this with you if you’re listening to this, I’m doing this with you. My goal is to step into that version of myself now because it’s really easy for me to step, slip into what everybody slips into imposter syndrome. Or am I not good enough for, you know, am I not enough? And my goal is to continuously say this is for me, this is mine and I am this and whatever follows the I AM will come looking for you. So if you can continuously decide that this is you now and this is your reality and if you’re sitting there, you’re like, I want to be a well known recognized expert, just like Dr Gabrielle Lyon, like I want to be in my field in health, recognized and well known instead of saying I want to be I am, I am and start showing up. Is that now? How would you show up if you just decided that that was you? Now, how much differently would you show up? I want everyone to think about that. That’s listening to this right now. And what if you just started to show up that way? What have you dared yourself to do that today?
Dr. Lyon (01:58:51 -> 01:58:53)
We should dare everyone to do that.
Jen Gottlieb (01:58:55 -> 01:59:31)
I think so, you know, you have to come on my podcast. It’s called The Idea You Podcast because at the end of my podcast, I dare everybody to do something. So let’s do it. Alright. So I dare you listeners to decide that just for today, let’s just do it just for today. Makes it super simple and easy. We don’t have to go crazy. You don’t have to go for. It’s very overwhelming to say this week, this year or whatever. Just for today. You are that version of yourself that you want to be. That is you, how would that person show up today? How would that person speak to people? How would that person post online? How would that person sit? How would that person breathe? How would that person connect? What would that person do be that person today? I dare you.
Dr. Lyon (01:59:31 -> 01:59:36)
I love that. I think that that is tremendous and you practice that every day,
Jen Gottlieb (01:59:37 -> 02:00:01)
every day that I remember to do it. Let’s be real. We have to remind ourselves, you know, I wish I was perfect every day. I would never sit here and be like, yes, I do this every day. I’m so great. I’m so perfect. I’ve got the perfect mindset. No, I’m a human, I’m a human, but I do work hard to make my life easy. So I do have reminders for myself. I do connect with my fabulous friends like you that remind me to do that. I do regularly. I do have post-its all over my house
Dr. Lyon (02:00:01 -> 02:00:12)
because it’s one thing to be doing and working at a business and being entrepreneurial and doing all the other things. And then there’s the other component of building you within you, of course.
Jen Gottlieb (02:00:12 -> 02:01:52)
And that’s a work in progress. But I do wake up and decide when I, I have just a beautiful morning practice that I do and, and I doesn’t have to be the same each day. But for me, it’s just tapping in opening my journal and writing down my commitments and deciding that this is who I am. I am this person. I also have this letter that I wrote to myself. This is another really great exercise that everybody can do. So I wrote a letter to myself at the beginning of the year and I envisioned myself being the version of myself that I know that I can be right? Like Jen two point now like Jen, that’s the greatest motivational speaker of all time, Jen. That’s like unbelievable entrepreneur, my business doing amazing, like crushing it right book is doing great. That girl at the end of the year that’s just hit all the goals, done everything living her best life. She wrote a letter to Jen now reminding Jen to do all the things that she needs to do today to get to that version of herself. What’s crazy that happens is that we’re all our best coach, we know how to coach ourselves. We just don’t do it. So take yourself out of who you are now, put yourself into you two point oh so Dr Gabrielle Lyon two point oh the one that has done everything she wants to do. What would she tell Gabrielle Lyon now to do today, to get to that. And I have this letter I wrote myself and I read it every day and I get coaching from the self every day and don’t forget to show up and be seen today. Don’t forget that you’re enough. Don’t forget that you’re here for a bigger purpose. Don’t forget that the more authentic and real that you are, the more you’re going to connect with humans and the more impact you’re going to make. Don’t forget it’s your responsibility to show up today. Don’t forget that your insecurities are just about you. It’s not about you. Like my letter says all these things. It’s like me yelling at myself, but I’m like being my own motivational speaker.
Dr. Lyon (02:01:52 -> 02:02:00)
I love that. Um You know, I could go on and ask you millions a million more questions, but I think that we just have to do a part two.
Jen Gottlieb (02:02:00 -> 02:02:03)
Okay. I’m down, I’m always down to talk to you,
Dr. Lyon (02:02:03 -> 02:02:19)
Jen Gottlieb. You are incredible. You are one of the strongest, most vibrant women. I know and I’m so excited to be able to share you with my audience and so much more to come, we will link where everybody can find you. Is there anything else that you want to add?
Jen Gottlieb (02:02:20 -> 02:03:02)
Well, I want to thank you and I want to honor you and I want to acknowledge you for who you are to the world. And who you’ve been to me and you’ve been an unbelievable friend to me. You’ve been an unbelievable mentor to me before you even realize you were a mentor to me. And it’s truly like the greatest honor. Like this is an amazing moment to be able to sit here and do this with you. I feel like we just created a great, a great episode. And what I want to tell everybody is that you are in the right place. If you have your headphones on right now and you are listening to this, you have done an amazing thing for yourself today and I just want you to tap yourself on the back and say, you know what good job me. I did one thing today to move myself forward. That’s it. It’s so simple. It’s as simple as that and that little win, that little celebration with yourself will get you to go take action in a different way today
Dr. Lyon (02:03:02 -> 02:03:14)
Well, it was such a pleasure and a privilege. I know that everyone is going to love this episode. Hopefully guys that you loved it as much as I have sitting here and listening and learning.